You can’t bring in the new without processing the old

I have always known that I have a natural tendency to cry especially when I’m sad, andI never try to suppress it because I don’t really

care what other people think of me when I cry. It is my way of expressing and processing sad emotions and repressing those tears always

leaves matters unresolved. This made me understand that for me,healing requires acknowledging, honouring and finally releasing

the emotion through tears.

This too shall pass, but W*F!

Recently, I lost a job that I had high hopes for, and I must say that was a defining moment in my life. The position had opened my eyes to a different

side of my career that I didn’t know existed and it seemed like a stepping stone to greater opportunities. I invested my energy and time into it as I was

convinced that this would define the future of my career. When the job ended unexpectedly, I was devastated, nay, wrecked! I felt like my life had

come to a stand still and I could not understand how something I was so sure of could slip through my fingers.

During this period, all I did was cry. The loss weighed heavily on me and everyone wanted to know what had happened. Despite my efforts to stay

composed, tears became my outlet. I cried anywhere and everywhere. I cried out of frustration, confusion and most importantly, I grieved for a future

I had visualised but could no longer see. It was the first time I felt completely powerless over my tears, leaving me puzzled because I didn’t know what

to do about it. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the peace you seek is hiding behind that one big crash out

Since I had no idea on how to go about the tears that I had no control over, I decided to do what I was familiar with: cry. Crying about the whole situation

brought me a sense of relief and I felt like a burden was coming off my shoulders. I found peace in it that allowed me to sit with everything I

was feeling without judgement. That silence became a safe space where I could quietlyand slowly process my loss. It allowed me to embrace

my vulnerability and acknowledge the pain I was feeling. I understood that if I wanted to come out of this and move on, I needed to fully feel the

sadness, frustration, anger, confusion, pain, grief, hopelessness and fear. So I sat in my bubble, and despite not understanding why

everything was falling apart, I felt better every time I cried.Embracing this vulnerability allowed me to move on. It became a step too important to

skip.

Eventually, the tears stopped flowing involuntarily and I was able to think and talk about the situation without crying. I could finally start planning

my next step, without feeling like my career had no future. Be proud of yourself for coming out of the hardest moment During this period, I appreciated

the love, support and reassurance from my close family and friends for offering me a safe space in my unguarded moments. Their constant presence

and check-ups reminded me that sometimes strength comes from allowing and accepting the support of our loved ones.

Vulnerability is the key that opens our hearts. It has taught me that transition can only happen after embracing and feeling our emotions through

allowing myself to cry, to lean on others and simply feel and let go. In doing this, I have created room for healing, and that gives me a chance to create

space for the new.

By Wanjiru Githirwa