I had to Eulogise my mum

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I had to write my mum’s eulogy

I was told it’s because I was the oldest

The oldest CHILD.

I had to step up.

I wanna share a piece of it with you.

There are no easy words to describe the loss

we’ve experienced.

Mum was kind, loving, caring, and slow to anger.

She was also strong-faithed and a

great storyteller.

Mum, we have shared many moments together,

both good and bad.

You have been by our side even through tough times.

We miss that little twinkle in your eyes, the sound

of your voice, your laughter and

your many jokes every so often.

Your love made us feel safe.

Your life has touched many but most of all, us, as

your children.

No one ever expects that they’d have to say something in such a situation, and how I

wish I wouldn’t have to.

You have been the stronghold of this family,

you have had to go through things that

no one should have to experience and yet

you pulled through and kept us together.

I know that you tried your best.

The last thing I remember you saying to me

was “I will get better. I will walk again. I

will beat this.”

…Fly with the angels.

Rest well mum.

Your babies.

I have never read it since the day I submitted

it for printing.

Not even at the funeral

They had to read it for me.

I never understood people who said it will

get better.

Years have passed…

Still waiting for that.

I don’t have photos on the wall

Can’t bear to see her smile and fall

Back into dreams I can’t survive

Where she’s still here and I’m alive

I used to pray to forget

Just to quiet my chest

But silence never felt so loud

Without her voice around

She was home, she was light

She held my hand through every night

When the world went dark and wild

She loved me like her only child

Now I’m lost, but not alone

She’s the reason I’ve grown

She’s still with me in my bones

She was home

I am the love she gave

I am the fight she braved

I am her echo, her fire, her name

And I’ll sing it through the pain

Cyd, Njuhi