FREEDOM
A Little Bit Of A Backstory
The Artistic Psychologist began as a blog during my university days, a response to a profound emotional need after a challenging breakup. Writing became my sanctuary—a means to articulate those emotions and give them a voice. It was a voyage of acknowledging my experiences and granting myself the freedom to process them. Writing has always been my solace, but I was astounded by the depth of emotions that poured out during that period. I filled one A4 journal, then another, and then a third, each page aiding me in navigating my emotions a little more.
As time passed, I took the leap to establish my organisation, drawing inspiration from the name of my blog, ‘The Artistic Psychologist.’ As our operations have grown and evolved, I realised I’ve been sharing my personal thoughts less frequently. To rekindle this aspect of my journey, I’m thrilled to introduce a new section on the blog called ‘Thoughts from Our Founder,’ where I aim to share my reflections more frequently. I’m committing to at least one post at the start of each year, but I aspire to connect with you even more frequently. I deeply value your support and hope you will accompany me on this journey.
My Word Of The Year
Now, let’s get into my reflection. I decided to abandon traditional New Year’s resolutions a couple of years ago and instead focus on a word or phrase for the year. This idea was sparked by someone I came across online. Their concept resonated with me, as it felt lighter and more compassionate. It’s not about overthinking but choosing a word or phrase that speaks to me in that particular season of my life. This year, my word is Freedom.
I have been actively reflecting on this word, why I feel called to it, and how I can live by it in different areas of my life. One area that came to mind is my fitness practice. I often find myself over-practicing the moves I’ve learned in an attempt to achieve perfection. As a result, I repeat a move multiple times for hours, constantly over-analysing it and trying to get it exactly right. This leaves me tired and disappointed, and I rob myself of the fun and joy of my fitness practice. I’ve realised that I need to be free from this pursuit of perfection—free to flow, let go, marvel at my progress, and celebrate it even when it’s imperfect.
As the year began, I discovered yet another area of my life where I could apply my word of the year. On December 20th, just before Christmas, my Kukhu (grandmother) passed away. I found myself experiencing deep emotional pain, with anger being the primary emotion. Alongside that anger were feelings of suppression and denial. I often encourage my community to acknowledge their feelings and allow themselves to experience them freely. In those moments, I tried to remind myself of this, yet I was still held hostage by fear. I denied myself the space to feel and to simply be.
I could feel those emotions gnawing away at me from the inside. It was overwhelming to think about expressing them out loud, and the fear of being consumed by those feelings left me paralysed. In response, I withdrew into myself and chose silence. In my solitude, I turned to prayer for comfort and guidance.
Once again, the word “freedom” echoed in my mind, but it carried a deeper significance this time. It’s the freedom to truly feel—allowing myself to experience everything I need for as long as it takes and at whatever intensity I require. It’s about the freedom to trust myself and the emotions that arise, recognising their importance and purpose. Ultimately, it’s the freedom to be who I am without judgment or hesitation.
I would like to conclude by sharing some words I wrote to myself after burying my Kukhu. These words came to me after days of silence and brought me comfort and grounding. I hope they resonate with you and serve you as they need to.
The words
Welcome your feelings into your being with open arms.
Allow them to come in and take their rest in your soul.
Let them walk in you, walk with you.
When they find their way to your broken heart, let them in, and do not resist. They are not here to cause you harm.
Allow them to take their place in the fractured spaces, allow your heart to embrace them, and allow them to stay and play the role they must.
Acknowledge them, embrace them, and interact with them as your visitors.
And, when the day comes for them to bid you farewell, do not resist.
Please do not insist on holding on; this is not their home. It never was.
They were merely passing by.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me so far. I look forward to journeying with you this year, and I pray that 2025 will be filled with kindness, joy, love, freedom and everything else you may need.
Paulyne