A Civil War: Anxiously and Hopelessly Romantic
II BRAIN II
Damn heart, you can’t stay out of matters that concern you but not up to you. Don’t make her go for something she’ll regret. You’re always nosing around trying to get her into trouble. Well I can’t afford to let you this time. He scares her. She can’t even mention his name without a shudder. He’s perfect smile showcasing his perfect teeth. His twinkly eyes that crinkle with every upturn of his lips. All her breath evades. It just offsets an imbalance in me. You two overreact and I’m always the one to calm you down. Too many impulses on the move, we can call it a lapse of the heart, but I too get affected.
Well, what to expect with the perfection he irradiates. A simple glow to make a girl rip out her heart and offer it to him. Or could it be that deep morning voice that she gets on random mornings that makes her spring up from bed. Or that loud masculine laughter that fills you with sheer joy when she receives the whole package, sound and sight of his beautiful face. But I digress…
This was meant to be a lecture on you staying out of dangerous activities. Steer away from the possibility of cracking or even worse breaking. How many times do you have to be told, heart? Huh? Twice, four, seven, ten times? How many times is clear for you to understand that experience is the best teacher, and not just of your own but of others. How many hearts have been ripped? Squished? Left empty by his ruthless species? Yet here we are again, contemplating on the possibility that a happy ending is greater than the last. That this time, it won’t end badly. Scratch that… won’t end, because they’ll be in too deep to climb out. Too in love to want anything else. Too attached. Covalently bond because part of him is melded into part of her, that they’re inseparable. Heart, here we are, again, the optimist as always, trying to tell me that this time it will be different, that it won’t end in tears, depression, detachment and sorrow. No hate, no vile emotion passed on, no frowns, no bitterness. How do I know that this time, maybe just this time, it will sum up to perfection? Just think, don’t I have a point?
Yes I agree he is beautiful- beautiful mind, body, heart, personality and talented to the core. Believe me when I say I know the dexterity that comes attached to his work is a great turn on. They’ll have that bona fide love, right? I agree in totality that he possesses the charm, the flame that attracts the moth, maybe her light at the end of the tunnel. I know you’re an optimist but I don’t just board the ship on the first blow of the horn. My job is to sit, think, rationalise this, make sense of all of it and be the cautious one because let’s be honest, you’re too accepting, too forgiving, too understanding which I don’t understand. I’m just trying to make sure she’s safe. You have to understand that.
… but just look at that smile and the look of pure concentration he holds when his sexy brain is at work. I like that brain of his. His intelligence is over the roof, he never jumps into conclusions, he’s book smart, generally smart, smartly dressed. Smarty pants (sends impulse for an eye roll). Let’s face it, even a brain can’t handle all that and not fall in love… but again they don’t need to know that… I digress…
II HEART II
Nobody knows her like he does. Look at how happy she is when he’s around. How happy she is when they talk. How happy she’s become because she’s not alone. He’s the band aid to her wounded flesh. We all need that person who turns that frown upside down, forgive my cliché lines but I speak the truth. I know you know it brain, because my judgment is far from fault. I know you’ve noticed he’s half lopsided grin that melts me. That wink that makes me stop working. That spark that flows. Scratch that… sparks… electricity… fire that moves within when he holds her face, plays with her hair… holds her hand. Your job is to think this through for her but I think I’m better equipped to lead her to happiness. Sure love is like a newly started enterprise, tricky as hell, but with change and new beginnings comes risk and since you’re a chicken, I’m taking it into my own figurative hands.
Winking. And don’t think I haven’t noticed how you jam when you see him in thought. Using his brilliance to wow you, isn’t he? And I know it’s working. You’re in deep, just in denial. Now open up and give her happiness a chance because if she’s looking for love 100%, she’ll receive his 100%. Don’t make her hide from him. He loves her, he wants her, broken or not, scarred or wounded. He’ll fix her, he’ll make her whole. He’s here because he sees that within her lies a gold mine of happiness. Didn’t you see how he lightens up when he sees her after school? And wasn’t he the one who called her when she was sick in bed with the mumps, pneumonia, blood infection making sure she’s holding on? And all those tears? Who wiped them? You name it and you’ll realise that you aren’t giving credit where it’s due. Don’t make her a computer. Let me do my job here and let me let her love him back. I know you’re just worried but if you love her, let her go.
II HER II
Sits patiently in the background staring at another potential life partner as the heart and the brain battle it out.
‘Maybe it would be easier to fall for his quirks and charms if I wasn’t part anxiety’
Njeke